Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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