Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
