Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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