Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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