Barsexuality is the new black.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
