When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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