better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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