I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
