did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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