I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
