If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
