I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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