Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Randomize
