Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
