talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
