What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
