I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
