just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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