i just had sex bonerless
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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