do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just high enough for therapy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
