Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
