he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bring me that man meat
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
