Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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