I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
