Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
