tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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