i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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