I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
