opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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