But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
