Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
