I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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