So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
