FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
