Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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