Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
