It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
