he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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