talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
