The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i love accidental penises.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
