Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think my fart just growled at me.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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