somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
