you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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