I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Bring me that man meat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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