Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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