It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
