The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
