So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
