Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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