Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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