When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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