what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
