My room smells like vodka and shame
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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