All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
