We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
